I was once a Financial Controller and I remember telling my team that a good way to find out if anyone reads a report is to stop producing it and see what happens.
That was not my intention this week as I failed to publish a post. The real reason for my silence is that Hubby has been travelling a lot lately and as a result I am positively knackered. I usually find writing this blog quite relaxing and therapeutic, but this week it lost out to Survivor Philippines and Sara Lee Rocky Road Overload ice cream.
But this morning my sister called to enquire what the heck was going on. “Where are your musings, Charlotte???!!” she demanded to know. Apparently she gets quite a kick out of seeing my posts arrive in her inbox. Who knew?
So I have decided I should muster up the energy to rustle together a few thoughts. Can’t let my readership down, now, can I?
I really should be putting my efforts into responding to a Christmas Wish List challenge kindly passed onto me by one of my favourite bloggers, Mum-abulous. (If you haven’t already, you should check her out. She’s awesome.) But I’m not sure I could do it justice tonight. It’s been a long day…
Sensing the end of my tether was approaching with Hubby away 12 out of the last 15 days, I think my children have begun a secret mission to break my spirit. The 5am wake ups have continued relentlessly; they seem to be united in their reluctance to provide me with assistance of any kind; and this morning as a result of their enthusiastic (almost gleeful) mess creation efforts I found myself in the kitchen screaming, “I just want to live in a clean house!!”
After taking a deep breath, we all got into the car for the school run. While the kids nattered happily away (kitchen hysterics hopefully forgotten), I found myself wishing I could swap places with each of them – Freaky Friday style – for a day.
I started daydreaming about all the things I could experience while safe in the knowledge that in just a few short hours I would regain ready access to my secret stash of chocolate almonds.
I wondered how it would feel to:
- Not worry about what’s for dinner. Instead, I would feel ever so slightly hungry, ask the chef what’s on the menu, and then play happily until it is cooked and delivered to my usual spot at the dining room table.
- Smear my dinner all over my face, the table, and the floor, and then smile sweetly while someone else cleans up the mess.
- Do handstands and cartwheels everywhere, all the time. I think I would enjoy freaking out those family members unfortunate enough to be standing behind me as I handstanded (handstood?) unexpectedly throughout the house. And I wouldn’t even be sore the next day.
- Live entirely in the moment. Sure, it might suck straight after taking a nasty tumble, but to experience the joy of an uncontrollable belly laugh without being distracted by the god awful mess that is our house might be kind of nice.
- Experience time moving so slowly it almost stands still. Six weeks of school holidays is a lifetime. A two hour drive down the highway is like a trip to the moon. In fact, my 24 hours would probably feel like a month…
And then I realised this would be a huge mistake.
My children – whose bodies I would be in – would also be in mine. They would be far too busy putting on lipstick, trying on my shoes, and eating chocolate chip biscuits to cook me dinner, let alone clean up my mess. They might even bail on me altogether and drive to Pumpkin Patch with my credit card. I would be left starving and ignored, possibly in a dirty nappy. For what would seem like an eternity! No thanks…
Anyway, the point is that I’m tired. I may have even lost my blogging mojo, if indeed I ever had it. But hopefully it will not be gone for long…
Hubby comes home tomorrow and we are going away for two days, without the kids, for the first time in four years. I will get to have a sleep in, maybe even two. And it is likely I will not have to clean up any Weet-Bix the entire time. Nothing Santa might bring could top that.
Except maybe a trip to the Maldives.
Or a maid.