I am a results oriented person. This was always the first thing listed in the “what we appreciate about this person” section of my annual performance review. And it is also why I struggle every day with being a stay-at-home mum. I’m sure results are being achieved, but they are not immediately obvious to me. They are long term, and I’m a short term kind of person. Medium term at most…
But this week I had one short term goal I put all my energy into – helping our 15 month old son learn to walk on his own. Enough was enough. He was teetering on the edge of developmental delay, and this was my personal challenge.
I spent the first half of this week walking with him everywhere. Very, very slowly. It took us 25 minutes to walk the 200 metres from the car to my daughter’s school for pick up. Buying a bottle of milk at Woolworths was a half hour process. We waited in Shoes & Sox for a very long time to get him a new pair of shoes – a critical piece of the puzzle, I thought. He was tired and hungry and I had a fight with a woman who pushed in front of me in the queue. It was all highly stressful. But I was on a mission. Together, this was going to be our achievement for the week.
Late last night Hubby returned home after being in Sydney for three days, as he is every week. Today, he worked from home while I took care of the kids. Since it was pouring with rain, I left the two little ones watching Playschool while I went to pick our eldest daughter up from school. I left the house at 2:50pm.
At 3:05pm – just as we were getting into the car to drive home – I received a text message from Hubby telling me our little guy had taken his first step…
I arrived home pissed off, and burst into tears when I saw Hubby. And then Master Perfect walked towards me. Not one step, more like about five. He didn’t just take his first step in my absence – he took his first twenty steps. He can walk now. And I was gone for FIFETEEN MINUTES!
Ungrateful. Little. So-and-so.
Very hard to stay mad at a toddler who has just learned to walk though. The pride in his eyes as he stumbled towards me made me cry even more. I don’t know whether I’m happy or sad, but the lump in my throat won’t go away.
I guess the upside of being a stay-at-home Mum is that I got to make cupcakes this morning. And now I’m going to sneak into the kitchen all by myself and eat one. Maybe even two…
Images courtesy of Salvatore Vuono/FreeDigitalPhotos.net and Sattva/FreeDigitalPhotos.net